Apology Not Accepted (Banana Pancakes Pt 31)

*Through this year I will be writing a longer story called Banana Pancakes. Through this each post will be a short story forming a larger story.

In Claire’s apartment, Troy was asleep on the sofa with Claire in her bedroom. He’d stayed the night, taking care of her in the fragile situation she’d landed in, just as she’d done with him many months before.

His eyes kept  peaking at the light outside as the sun shined in through the autumn months. He resisted the urge to get up, thinking back to how he was when his life spiraled out of control. She needed the space he kept thinking.

Suddenly he heard a knock at the door and his first thought jumped to Kyle, but his curiosity rose as he thought why would Kyle knock and not walk straight in.

He shuffled through the kitchen and into the hall, facing the door and giving it a moment before the next knock came through. It was a light rap of the wood, he knew it wasn’t Kyle but his next thought was perhaps a delivery.

It was rare Claire had anyone visit the apartment, except himself but he just wandered in freely anyway from all the time he lived here.

Troy didn’t even check the eye hole, taking down the three locks in place and opening the door as his heart instantly plummeted out of existence.

“Hey stranger.” 

Jess stood before him, looking as beautiful as the day they split up. The day she stole his heart and walked out his life leaving him a shell of the person he once was.

She smiled at him, as if nothing had ever happened, “You going to invite me in then?”

He paused, hesitation filling his mind, body and soul. He didn’t know what to do, what to say or how to act.

Moving forward, he stepped over the threshold into no mans land of the apartment block, closing the door behind him, the awkward territory before him.

“Sorry, Claire. She’s, she’s asleep.” Troy said, pausing between words.

Another smile, they pierced Troy’s heart each time, “Ah right, was hoping I could see her as well.” A brief pause and the two looked at each other, their eyes meeting for the first time in months. “It’s been a while hasn’t it.”

He didn’t know what to say but anger filled every muscle in his body. He managed to keep his cool, not showing any break in emotion, “Yeah, sure has.”

“So, what’s been going on then?” She said, acting is it were two friends casually meeting.

Troy stood before her, wanting to scream and shout about what she did, how he made her feel, how she took everything from him and what he’s really been doing is building himself back to what he once was all this time.

“Jess, you.” He sighed, trying to find the words to say without getting angry. “You walked out on me, on Claire. You just upped and left.”

She didn’t know what to say from this but stood silently instead. He could see some resentment in her eyes, somewhat for what she did but he wanted to hear it.

“What you did, I mean. It hurt a lot Jess, it really did and now you come out of nowhere, months later for what.”

“An apology. I came to say sorry. Sorry for what I did to you, sorry for leaving instead of trying to fix things.” She started to cry, tears tumbling down her face as she’d tried to hold them back. “I’m sorry for everything I did Troy.”

He stood with the door to his back, looking at the Jess he once knew begging for forgiveness. “No. I’m not accepting any kind of apology from you, I can’t. You didn’t see how I was, what you did to me.” 

He opened the apartment door behind him, “Goodbye Jess.” Closing the door, shutting her out as she’d done to him once before. He couldn’t abide the apology anymore.

He fell against the door, sliding to the floor and sitting in the hall of the apartment shaking his head. He could still hear the cries from behind the door and his heart broke at the thought of Jess.

All he wanted to do was hold her and say everything was going to be alright, but he knew he couldn’t. The damage done wasn’t reversible.

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