James could feel the summer breeze beat down on him as he drifted off on the grass, the sun beaming above him and Clarissa. Her head lay on his chest, face smiling and eyes closed gently shut.
He wondered, how did he get here, to this very point with this amazing woman. In that moment the pair thought this would last forever, their care, their love, their adoration for each other.
But it didn’t, it never does.
It all happened about three months after that summer of love. Falling into- the autumn time as the leaves fell and grew a crisp golden orange colour and the breeze became stronger.
He’d started a new year at college, and with that he picked new classes, none of which where with Clarissa, much to her dislike.
During that mid-autumn, he met someone. In his eyes, the moment he saw her, met her and gazed at her eyes he felt a stricken sense of she’s the one momentum. The first time he spoke to her, his heat skipped a beat and stomach fluttered. He’d felt this before with Clarissa, but it drifted and was lost in some form.
Jane, the girl in question, would always make sure they were paired together in class, didn’t matter the assignment. James made her laugh harder than anyone she’d ever met, smile like she’d never felt before and make her feel comfortable as at ease like she’d never felt before.
Jane didn’t know about Clarissa and Clarissa didn’t know about Jane. James on the other hand had grown feelings for Jane, but it didn’t mean a part of him didn’t continue to care for Clarissa.
He felt uneasy for months whilst the entanglement of his love developed. The harmony he once had with Clarissa distanced and broke apart. They’d argue more, fight over the smallest things and just couldn’t be close anymore.
Whilst this went on, the relationship with Jane grew, they became closer, caring more for each other, speaking constantly to one another, but James made sure they didn’t become intimate. They were just friends, he made a daily reminder of it to himself as to not stray any further.
His heart still had commitment to Clarissa, it still cared for her and wanted to be with her as he kept imagining that summer of love.
The field would come back to view, the grass and the sun beating down on his face and Clarissa’s dark brown hair rest on his chest. As he grew closer to Jane as the months past, he’d remember this moment with Clarissa, to pull him right back to reality.
As late winter rolled in, he worked more on the communication with Clarissa. He couldn’t throw away what they had, and although his feelings were still there for Jane, thumping away every time he saw here they were still stronger for Clarissa.
The relationship with Jane, the friendship they held which never went further would always stay like that as James made sure of it. He distanced himself in some ways, making sure things never got too close, not speaking to Jane for two weeks was one of his ways, but they both knew in some alternate reality, the two of them were together and she was his summer girl.