I sat there on the edge of the bed. Boxes at my feet, unsure of what to do with my head in my hands.
Our room now felt cold, uncontrolled and void of any life, all had changed in those passing few months. The distance, the escaping love, all disintegrating before me.
We’d lived here for months, i kept thinking of everything that had gone on in our apartment. When we first moved in, fighting over what we wanted to decorate the rooms as, when we tried getting all the furniture through the door from Ikea and kept making Friends references “pivot.”
I thought I’d stick on our song, one last time before leaving for good, before you got back. I scrolled through my phone, found The Cure and clicked Edge of the Deep Green Sea.
I remember the first time we listened to this together, the melody, we’d think it was like being in an indie film, driving through the roads at night trying to get away. We used to have the same thoughts, want the same things, the blood circling at the same speed as our hearts beat at once. But that all changed.
Now it’s reminding me of that road trip we took across country, with Ben and Emma. It’s not that you’ve just taken our home, everything we started and owned together, even Jay Jay, our dog, you’ve also taken our friends, even the memories we shared. Every ounce of me gone, as if you cast some evil enchantment.
I can barely think of anything, remember anything over the past few years without breaking down into tears. My soul escapes me, bit by bit everyday and the memories burn the edges of my brain.
Now all I can do is sit here, letting the song, what was our song, wind down as I’m surrounded by these boxes of emptiness.
I can hear the hard patter of the rain against the window, but it didn’t hide the opening of the front door.
This was now the end of Us.