All You People Are Vampires

I wore an undone bow tie, an untucked shirt and the usual trouser jacket combo. I didn’t want to follow the rest of them.

I was quiet on the ride over, the limo my friend had booked which I just joined in on. They all wanted to have a good time, memorable and wanted it like TV. Have of them had barely picked up a book in their life so everything represented TV to them.

I didn’t really want to go. I was sort of forced, didn’t want to be a part of this big procedural thing they did every year.

We arrived to a harmony of balloons, they were everywhere, an archway then a trail to show us to the door like sheep to the slaughter, that’s what it felt like. It felt like a dungeon.

We sort of departed inside and I stood awkwardly with a cup of punch in hand. Watching them all, everything they were doing their interactions.

They were like blood suckers wandering to and from each other taking their selfies, checking themselves out in any reflection and just empowering themselves on compliments from each other.

Vampires was the only teen I could put it as.

I didn’t stand there all night, I tried to interact, tried to chat but it felt weird. I didn’t care about any of these people, I didn’t want to satisfy their needs, what they were doing, what they thought. They all just drained each other of energy turning into some dark void.

It happened. My opportunity to stand before them all. I wandered up the stage when nobody was looking, the 80’s music bouncing from wall to wall as if anybody knew anything about that decade.

Awkwardly standing there I waived to the DJ to cut the music. It took a moment to happen but then I grabbed the mic, tapped a few times first then coughed to grab their attention.


I coughed again and a few people looked up. The room started falling silent. Staring big eyes all pointed to me

Kyle the big jock just shouted “Get off the stage dumbass.”

I just ignored it. Let it pass.

A deep breath in then I said it.

“All you people are vampires.”

The reaction was silent at first. The blood suckers they were, taking everything they could from one another.

I just wandered off the stage and out the building back through the balloon archway, popping a few as I went.

The music quickly built up once again, ready for them to drain each other of their existence.

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